Day Two

 March 18 - Day 2 of my ten day fast. Three days of 100 oz of water a day followed by seven days of organic vegetables and fruits juiced.

Day Two:
I started the day praying on my knees alone. I used the rest of my day asking God where else I am wrong. I cleaned and did wash all the while I talk to God and read. I took a nap and continued to read and talk to God. I read scripture after scripture on healing and keep drinking water. Not knowing what else I could say to Him to receive my healing I started to pray the Our Father. Growing up whenever I did not know what to pray I prayed the Our Father. It worked during communion, a wake, a silent moment of prayer in church or in public.

So here I am on my knees praying the Our Father at 7pm at night. I prayed it again this time using the word your instead of thy, me instead of us, etc. When I finished I prayed it again this time I broke it apart and prayed each line separately. Our Father. Who aren't in Heaven. Hallowed be your name. ( Oh praise your holy name Father in Heaven). Your Kingdom come, Your will be done. (Yes, Father let your will be done). On earth as it is in Heaven. (WAIT!... Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. What is your will in Heaven. No pain, no poverty, no sickness, no robbery. Joy, peace, love. On earth as it in Heaven. Your will is to have this on earth. Not your will be done when you are ready to give it to me. Not your will be done when I get to Heaven. But your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. I don't have to wait? You want me to have it now? Why did I not know this before?) Give me this day My daily bread. (You are all I need each day.) And forgive me my sins as I forgive those who sin against me. Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil for you are the kingdom the glory and the power. Forever. Amen. ( I need to forgive and be forgiven - I knew that. And I need God to deliver me from evil).

I prayed this again as I was crying just to understand what I prayed all these years. When I am delivered from evil and I forgive, then I can be forgiven and His will can be here on earth today because He is all we need. He is almighty and powerful and praise worthy.

As I move from my knees onto the bed in tears I started to repent for my sins. Not the usually gossip, misleading and bad attitude. I repented for sins such as allowing my illness to get what I thought I needed. Not trusting in Him with my sins. For being self righteous, for not committing to praying with my family daily. For not seeking him regularly, not fasting, not following many more commandments he has for Christians. I am a Christian and I am expected to be Christ like. Anything less is a sin. I am not a good person. It is not enough to talk about God and pray to God and serve at church. I need to seek God. I can not be in God's presence with unrepented sin. He can not meet me there. I have to be cleansed of sin and then He will reveal Himself to me. I have carried around unrepented sin for years and it has prevented me from receiving His healing. I used this illness to be out of work, to be lazy and as an excuse to follow through on what I could do. Yes, I was sick but I did not need to be.

In the old testament people made sacrifices and fasted to seek answers from God. In the new testament Jesus was with them and still they traveled long distances and sacrificed their jobs and families to seek Him and believed seeking Jesus will bring healing. And it did. These people did not pray twice a day and serve people in order to receive a healing. They sacrificed to receive God. I have sacrificed nothing. This fast is the first sacrifice I have made to seek God and his healing. God wants us to fast before we decide who we marry, a job opportunity, having a baby. We are asked to seek God in fasting when we are looking for God's will for our life.

That evening on my bed I received healing. God healed me. I did not hear Him say, "You are healed." I did not feel a bolt of electricity, I just knew. I felt the weight being lifted off my shoulder, neck and back. I read prayers rebuking satan and calling out his evil name by name and demanding their hold on me be released in Jesus' name. I called out symptoms one at a time and commanded them leave my body.
I am healed in name of Jesus.