Life Roles

What a great Upward leader training this weekend. We participated in a drill that required our group to organize in order of importance the role of an Upward Coach. Our group lobbied and voted not once or twice but multiple times on the placement of each factor of the role of an Upward Coach. Who supported ‘win games’ as number one? Which belongs second or third? Is it more important to know the rules, to have fun, to teach fundamentals or to work well with the referees? As the nine roles were presented and the list was final, we waited for the “answer”.  We wanted to know what the correct order was.  The response of the trainer was not what I expected. He said, “There is not a correct order. With each group the order is different.”  It was then I realized that while I believe teaching fundamentals is the number one role of an Upward coach that does not mean it is not important to win games. None of us were wrong. When I listened to each coach’s reasoning for how they valued their role it is easy to understand why all the roles are important and worthy of our support.

We rank the importance of our roles in life similarly. Not only do we rank our roles we think we are entitled to judge or even debates someone’s list. One person may feel friendship is number one their list while another would say being a mom and another being a sister or daughter. We have no right to judge, no one is saying because being a sister is number one then being a mom is not important. We need to listen to the question and answers without jumping to conclusions or assumptions.

 I am a mom, a step-mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a daughter in-law, a sister in-law, a Christian, a friend, an x-ray tech, volunteer, and there may be more. How much support would I face if being a wife was number one over being a mom? How about being a wife over being Christian? Is there any support for putting volunteer above being a friend? I can see part of the group lobbying that loving your kids should be more important that your husband. Another part arguing that my relationship with God is more important than my husband. The rest would defend a friendship is of more value than volunteering. How would their responses differ if they listened? Instead of reading into the answers, understanding that being a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a Christian, a friend and a volunteer are all important.

Your list may have the same roles in a very different order without being wrong simply because they are all important roles and worthy of support.